Monday, November 24, 2014

Season of War

For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised, God has chosen, the things that are not, that He might nullify the things that are, that no man should boast before God. (1 Corinthians 1:26-29)
 
i love the word of God. i have loved these verses for years. Because they give someone like me great and magnificent hope. Because i can find myself amongst the foolish, amongst the weak, amongst the base, amongst the despised, amongst the nobodies. Little did i know that i have worn even these labels with pride, with false humility. With a lot of striving, a lot of trying. Today, i testify, that unless the Lord wills it, unless it is the work of the Spirit of the Lord, all is vain. All is a chasing after wind. All is selfish. i testify, that even now, to have been led to a place where suddenly, even this has to be exposed and brought to the Light; even this has to be dealt with. Even this has to be brought to death.
 
Until we come face to face with a holy God, touched deep to the very core of who we are, will we truly comprehend the word despised. Until we come face to face with a strong God, and experience the burning power that is He, will we truly know intimately what it means to be weak. Not until we encounter the incomprehensible wisdom of God, and fall helpless in a pile of utter brokenness, will we fully appreciate our own foolishness. Not until we are completely striped bare, bankrupt of everything, utterly crushed will we know the difference that is the strength of our gifts, the strength of our personalities, the strength of our selves, and the strength of our God. And believe me, the strength of God is exceedingly more than more than. Suddenly to be weak, to be despised, to be base, to be foolish, to be blind, to be nought takes on a whole new meaning, and God is magnified beyond where i have ever known Him to be.
 
The Lord is a man of war; the Lord is His name. (Exodus 15:3)
 
Not until we are trusted, and tossed tumbling into the reality of life in a war, will we truly understand the breadth, and length, and height, and depth of the nature of this war we live in. Not until we cease to live our lives still all about us, all about our fame, all about building our own businesses, all about how significant our place is in man-made structures, all about what we will look like on the surface - all about projecting a false sense of security, a false identity - will we truly see the urgency, and the magnitude of what life is truly about, and come face to face with the reality of a war fierce and fiery. And in seeing this, we are privileged to see the magnitude of who He is, the strength that is He, the power that is truly His. To experience intimately the breadth, the length, the height and the depth of His love. To see and experience personally what He is all about; to find where His heart is hidden, concealed. We discover again how incomprehensively large He is; how even in the intense heat of our battles, learn and know intimately the security of being right in the middle of His hands. All of a sudden, even the definition of Love starts to change; even to be loved intensely by the Lord, to be pursued relentlessly by the Almighty is brought to a whole different level. Brought to a new height. And we are completely and utterly left stunned, left without speech, without abilities, and realize that all along our understanding and our knowledge of Him has been so shallow, so flimsy, so simplistic. How we have treated Him like a giant Sugar Daddy in the sky, and used the Word of God like good luck charms. What He intends to do, even in a war completely leaves us breathless, utterly ruined, and totally crushed. And all we can do is lift up both hands, and give in. Worship. Adore. Suddenly, to surrender to the Lord becomes His doing; to willingly come and bow down and worship originates from Him.  
 
Suddenly, even in a season of war, He is central. Even in war, it is about Him. Even in war, it is about worship. Even in war, it is about Love. This, is what an upgrade looks like.      

Monday, November 17, 2014

Keeper II

The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The Sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in.
From this time forth and forever.
(Psalm 121: 5-8)

i closed my eyes, and i spoke to the Lord. Something that i could not share with anyone else in the whole wide world. It will be something that will stay between me and Him. Even though i have friends i can call up and they would come right to my side, there are places i journey alone. It is a place where even though true friends may sympathize, to hold us up, only the Lord is able to untangle us. Only He is able to fully bear us up, comfort us, and keep us. Only He can sufficiently soothe the tempest in our soul. We think only He will truly understand the battle between the flesh and the spirit. And at the deepest depth of our hearts, we suspect He has a higher purpose, a more profound intention for us to have led us to this stretch of our journey, a place that seems impossibly difficult, a place of great resistance. Someone once said that only through great resistance are muscles grown. Someone once said, our identity is developed in the secret places of our hearts. Someone once said what is established in hidden places can never be disturbed by circumstances, or people, or events. Someone once said that the bigger the influence, the greater the training. Perhaps this all is true.  

i have learned and continue to learn that before i am a keeper for others, i must first experience and intimately know the Lord as my keeper. It will be something that i will continuously learn, and experience for the rest of my life. And this is the beauty of any relationship. That the relationship will continuously grow and evolve. Like any developing relationship, it will take time, and it will take both parties to consciously and continuously seek the other out. To consciously and intentionally sow into the relationship. It is presumptuous to think that we will reap what we have not sown. It is foolish to expect a harvest when we have not humbled ourselves, get on our knees to do the mundane, and perhaps laborious work of tilling the land, and bending over soil to sow. Getting our hands dirty, covered in mud and muck. Getting our faces sun burnt. Having our backs sore from bending over. It is prideful to think that the land we own will yield much fruit simply because we are Owners; that as Occupants, we are entitle to it producing fruit for us. True relationship goes far beyond simply being nice to one another, it is truly learning to love the other. Sometimes, learning the reality that what is sown may not yield what we expected or desired. Because for even someone whom we have known a lifetime, there will always be something new waiting to be uncovered. Waiting for us to discover.  

The good news is: There is more. There must be. The good news is that the Lord pursues us. He is never afraid or repulsed by what He finds when we draw near to Him, because those are not the things He sees when He looks at us. He sees us purely as those He loves. He is good. He is kind. He shades us, shields us, covers us, hides us. He comes alongside us. He sends the most unlikely people across our paths, and sends the most unnoticeable ones. Quietly, effectively to show us who He is, and what He is like. We continuously are surprised by those He sent our way. Our paradigm challenged often, our perspectives adjusted. Our hearts transformed. He truly do not think like us; He truly do not weigh like we do; He truly does not pursue what we put our attention to. He sees differently. Suddenly, every worldly, fleshly thing starts to lose its shine. Suddenly, walking alone with our Keeper, our Lord is the safest place we can be.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Keeper

Now the day came that Jonathan, the son of Saul, said to the young man who was carrying his armor, “Come and let us cross over to the Philistines’ garrison that is on the other side.” But he did not tell his father. Saul was staying in the outskirts of Gibeah under the pomegranate tree which is in Migron. And the people who were with him were about six hundred men, and Ahijah, the son of Ahitub, Ichabod’s brother, the son of Phinehas, the son of Eli, the priest of the LORD at Shiloh, was wearing an ephod. And the people did not know that Jonathan had gone. Between the passes by which Jonathan sought to cross over to the Philistines’ garrison, there was a sharp crag on the one side and a sharp crag on the other side, and the name of the one was Bozez, and the name of the other Seneh. The one crag rose on the north opposite Michmash, and the other on the south opposite Geba.
Then Jonathan said to the young man who was carrying his armor, “Come and let us cross over to the garrison of these uncircumcised; perhaps the LORD will work for us, for the LORD is not restrained to save by many or by few.” His armor bearer said to him, “Do all that is in your heart; turn yourself, and here I am with you according to your desire.” Then Jonathan said, “Behold, we will cross over to the men and reveal ourselves to them. If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you’; then we will stand in our place and not go up to them. But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’ then we will go up, for the LORD has given them into our hands; and this shall be the sign to us.” When both of them revealed themselves to the garrison of the Philistines, the Philistines said, “Behold, Hebrews are coming out of the holes where they have hidden themselves.” So the men of the garrison hailed Jonathan and his armor bearer and said, “Come up to us and we will tell you something.” And Jonathan said to his armor bearer, “Come up after me, for the LORD has given them into the hands of Israel.” Then Jonathan climbed up on his hands and feet, with his armor bearer behind him; and they fell before Jonathan, and his armor bearer put some to death after him. That first slaughter which Jonathan and his armor bearer made was about twenty men within about half a furrow in an acre of land. And there was a trembling in the camp, in the field, and among all the people. Even the garrison and the raiders trembled, and the earth quaked so that it became a great trembling. (1 Samuel 14:1-15)
As i sat numb in the car, driving the kids to school, i could feel my heart aching. And sinking. With all of my might i fought the invading force to drown me. Like a dark cloud, like a heavy smog. A strength rose from within, NO, i determined. Like a lion, i roared and resisted and changed the atmosphere around myself. i saw in an instant the strength and power of a covenant relationship. And i was going to guard it with all of my might! No wonder covenant relationships attract horrendous assaults; no wonder partners in true relationships court attacks. And i was furious! i took my place, my position as keeper to guard. And i fought. The enemy has yet again underestimated the strength of a person in a covenant relationship.
One person, with God, is always in the majority. (Graham Cooke)
The days before, i had sent out two messages to two different parties for backup. At three in the afternoon, i knew the battle was won; i felt a release. In the evening, i was privileged to see the uncovering of what is already set up to come. Something that i had not seen before, nor has it entered my heart. It is a new thing that has always been there which had stayed hidden to me all these years. No wonder the battle was intense; no wonder the enemy was so threatened. No wonder he had put out so much force to resist us. No wonder he worked so hard to steal and kill and destroy what we already own. No wonder men like my husband, like my friend are cut down again and again. These men have something only they can do, somewhere only they can go; there are people only they can reach, only they can set free. There are men whom they will lead and model to, men the world has yet to see. And i will keep them; i will become their keeper. i was guard them, and i will watch over them. Now that i have seen what is possible, i will take up my place to stand with them, and fight alongside them.   
From this battle that lasted a few days, i am beginning to see how little we understand the nature of the war that we are in. How little we know of the strength and power of true relationships. How we have underestimated true friendships - the kind that Jesus modelled to us. The kind where both parties are mutually devoted to each other. i have come to see how shallow was my understanding of a covenant relationship; how i have misjudged what a keeping relationship is like. i have come to see how we so often look at people's outer skins and missed their true strength within. Or how we are drawn to shiny, good looking things only to find emptiness within. Or how good servants are not warriors. i have learned and continue to learn how when i am in a war, i would rather have alongside me, one who can defeat a thousand men, than a thousand men who cannot defeat the one. Now that i see, i am wise to choose who will partner with me; i am wise to draw true friends nearer and closer to me.   

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Core II

but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ. (Ephesians 4:15)
 
Have you like me experienced someone come up to you to tell you what they do not like about you, or what they see as missing, as not good enough, or point out to you the exact things that they are brilliant at doing, that thing that you are not able to accomplish, then justifying all that they say as speaking the truth in love. They leave you deflated, as if you do not already know where you have not measured up to their standards. To be just like them. Somehow, when you quiet your spirit down, you will find deep inside a voice reassuring you that what had been said to you, was not the truth. And you start to suspect, just perhaps, maybe what has been uncovered is not truly about you, but about the condition of the heart of the speaker.
 
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)
 
It is true that you are not able to keep your home as immaculately clean, like a picture out of the home decorating magazines as the speaker. It is true that you are not able to manage your household just like Martha Stewart and as perfectly as the speaker. It is true that your kids are not doing one hundred and one things and are outstanding at doing all one hundred and one things like their kids. It is true that you struggle to find time to do all the things listed on the ten-steps-to-a-better you, to a better marriage, to being a better parent, to being a better neighbour, to being a better lover. To being perfect. It is true that we all fall way short from those glossy edited photographs circulating around perfect people just like them.
 
The truth is: You (and i) are beloved of the Lord. You (plus me) are fashioned to sit right next to Him in heavenly places far above all other realms. We are complete and sufficient in Christ; we are unique, diverse, wonderful and brilliantly different. God loves that about us.  
 
Could it be that there is a difference between what is true and what is the truth. It is true that my friend has a tendency to fly into rage when certain subjects are raised, when something triggers an explosive reaction within that comes to the surface like larva, slowly eating everything in its path. Burning everyone that stands in the way. But the truth remains true that he is deeply loved by the Lord. The truth is that God has plans and purposes for him. The truth is God sees him worthy; God sees all that He has placed within him, even while he was in his mother's womb. The truth is how God sees him. And He sees him as one of His.
 
This is one of my most valued lessons: The privilege to bring a word to someone is not the same privilege to speak my own mind, or impose my own ideals. It takes a cleansing or a transformation of my heart first; to be free from toxin within me first. It takes training. It takes obedience to the voice of the Lord. It takes an understanding that this is not about me nor my gifting. It takes an intimate knowing of the Lord, of His heart, His mind and His way. Because it is He - the Truth - that we seek to represent when we speak in love.    

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Core

For you yourselves know, brethren, that our coming to you was not in vain, but after we had already suffered and been mistreated in Philippi, as you know, we had the boldness in our God to speak to you the gospel of God amid much opposition. For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit; but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men but God, who examines our hearts. For we never came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed - God is witness - nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority. (1 Thessalonians 2:1-6)
 
Have you like me, suddenly find yourself confronted with the Word of God, and fall into this place of both loving the Word intensely, yet at the same time fearfully. Having the Word comfort, and at the same time having the Word like a grain of sand rubbing, grinding. Refusing to let go until something is shaved off me. And before when i was younger, still a babe in the Lord, it was easy to avoid such verses, now i find myself held fast to it, unable to shake it or ignore it or pass it as a verse someone else has to hear. As i give in to it, i am drawn deeper, attracted even more to the intriguing brilliance of His mind, of His heart. Of He Himself. In my conversations with men (including my beloved husband) about the things of God, i have come to see how blessed i am, how even before i realized it, i am protected, i am surrounded by men of integrity. Men whom others would not choose as men of the Word of God. Men whom others have missed; men whom others fail to truly understand their core strength, or make the effort to seek their hearts out, reading only what they look like on the surface. i have a friend whom i would have wiped out of my life a long time ago. As it turns out, in the grand and perfect plan of my Father, he is continuously privileged by my Father to rub me, to grind me and to expose in me my own prejudices. He whom i would not have chosen as someone key, has been and continue to be instrumental in the enlargement of my heart, in the softening of my edges. Out of the mouth of men who refuse to flatter me, men who find it utterly difficult to compromise their inner most core, even when what comes out may be unrefined, or unpolished, i find myself challenged to face my un-refinement first.
 
My husband's quote, which he probably does not realize as a core value that he has continuously sown into me, and has become a part of me as well is this: Leadership is first relational. In other words, to lead is very much about the people we serve as it is about the people we are privileged to serve with. For him, his heart is that in accomplishing the tasks at hand, our goal is to seek greater connection or further development in the relationships we are privileged to own for the season, no matter who they are, or where they have been. In the years of leading the Intercessory Prayer team with much self doubt, with reluctance, my husband is the core person God has placed right into the middle of my life to help lead me to where i am today. A lot of people do not know this hidden strength that i have: A husband who sows into me not words that i want to hear, but words that i need to hear. Often, i am astounded by the insight, and discernment that he has into situations. What he sees compliments what i see, and always further widen my perspective. And helps bring alignment to my heart.
 
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. (James 1:22-24)
 
What if we are to read the written Word of God as a now word. Or, always open and ready to encounter the very words highlighted and leap off the page at us. What if prophesy is more than the declaration of a grand future of the great things that we will accomplish for God; more than the promise of how great we will look to the people around us, for them to choose us, to marvel at us. To worship us. What if prophesy speaks to the potential, or calls out what is already in the heart of God when He looks at us. And prophesy points to a journey, a becoming, a walking into, a transforming into. Have you like me cut into a beautiful looking apple to be deeply disappointed by the rotten core, and end up having to throw the whole fruit out? Could it be that when we hear a prophesy, or when we encounter a highlighted word of God, and choose only what suits our ears, concentrating on only what pleases our eyes, celebrating only the promise of our own greatness, and we go away big headed, we kid only ourselves; we forfeit the power, the true glory, the miracle of that now word. What if it is true that when God speaks, He does so with purpose, to create life, hope, faith, and more so to stir up an awareness of Himself in our lives. What if it is true that when God speaks, He wants to bring change, adjustment, correction, direction, renewal, restoration, redemption and encouragement; what if His word is always strategic, highly creative. Able to shift, and anchor a core. And what if prophesy is to make sure we do not reach that much anticipated great place with rotten cores; and our greatness is not what is on the outer, but much more what is hidden deep within.

What if what is in my husband, this core strength that he has rubbed onto me is birthed from many transforming meetings with the Lord, in Word, in experiences, out of his relationship with the Lord. A relationship with Him that looks nothing like my relationship with the Lord. What if it had taken time, and work for him to now have something not placed upon him, but something grown strong into him, becoming his centre. Formed into a grace; an enablement. Could it be that when we observe what someone is able to do on the surface, and copies his behaviour, unaware of what has been grown in secret, we are merely following a law. Following a slogan, following a how-to-serve-effectively, a how-to-love-better. And it is full of strife, it is heavy because we are serving from an outer strength, we are serving from a man-made five-steps-to-excellence.

What if excellence is not an outer behaviour, but an inner grace. Like my husband, serving comes from this ingrown grace, this core strength, this excellence within. i know him, i know how many times he has been pushed down, attacked, discouraged, lied to; it only testifies to me how threatened the enemy is by the strength, the grace and the huge potential that is in him. What the enemy does not fully comprehend is that God has joined him to me, and i to him. And two is always stronger than one. And the enemy has underestimated one humbled, one restored and touched; one limping, who learned to recognise outer performances, to take off all outer false burdens, to come simply as one beloved of the Lord, one whose value is of the Lord. One whose core, whose heart is truly simply to love others. From him, i learn much. More than any in the world. And that is greatness.    

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Inheritance II

Having therefore such a hope, we use great boldness in our speech, and are not as Moses, who used to put a veil over his face that the sons of Israel might not look intently at the end of what was fading away. But their minds were hardened; for until this very day at the reading of the old covenant the same veil remains unlifted, because it is removed in Christ. But to this day whenever Moses is read, a veil lies over their heart; but whenever a man turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:12-18)
 
"We were taught to believe we were better than others," she confided, "It was not something that was spoken of, but more something that was modelled to us. We had this pride; in every way, we believed we were more superior, better than all Christians, or churches." She paused, then said, "I did not see it then, but now I see how arrogant we were. It was a sort of spiritual pride." i sat silently; it was a moment where my words were not needed. It was a listening moment; a moment to allow another to unload, to put words to her discernment. It was a time to walk alongside another in understanding. She was thinking aloud; a way of working through her past. We have had various conversations like this where i simply allowed her to unload. Even though i have not been to this church, i can see this pride in some formal members. Especially those who were part of the leadership team. Others who visited had testify of the powerful anointing; how strongly were the manifestations of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Many however, commented that they could not understand why the church stayed small, even dwindled. Later, when the pastor fell from sin, the church was closed down. It was another case where what the pastor built by his gifts, he destroyed by his lack of character. What angers me the most is the many lives that suffered, plundered so easily by the enemy.
 
 
As i walked away after praying with the man at the front, i was greeted by a smiling face. i waved at her, and as i came close to her, she buried me in her giant embrace. i simply melted in her arms. This is what open hearts look like. This lady is a mother to me; this lady has a current robust relationship with me. And as i walked away from her, i was greeted with another giant hug. Still feeling undone by the sweetness of the Lord while praying with the man at the front, i melted into her arms as well. While i was being cuddled by her, her daughter came from my left, and wrapped us both in her arms. We are family. This is what open hearts look like; people who keep relationships well, without barriers, hearts unveiled. It is a trust nurtured and grown over time and effort.
 
"i feel like crying," overwhelmed, i said.
"You're always welcome to cry in front of us," they laughed, teasing.
"I love this woman," said the daughter.
"i love you too," i managed to mumble back. Broken inside. 
"O, did she pray for you," mum said.
"Yes," then paused to appreciate the moment God touched her. "Thank you so much."
"O, but i need your prayers," i blurted out. i really felt like weeping; desperate for family. At that, both women listened intently. One gave me a word. The other encouraged me. Both promised to pray for us.
 
This morning, while i was at the children's church to pick up my daughter, she saw me through the half opened door, and indicated with her hands that she wanted to speak with me. i knew she had been praying for us, not only by the seriousness on her face, but i could feel her prayers all week. She shared a picture she received, and its interpretation. This time, i let tears flow.
 
"Thank you so much," i spoke into her ear as i held her tight in my arms, "i could totally feel your prayers; the times i knew you were thinking of us. Something in the atmosphere changed in the evening, and i knew you had prayed for us." She hugged me back and said, "This is what it is all about; this is what being in the Family of God is all about." i melted into her arms. This is what open hearts look like. i am convinced that everything in the Kingdom of God is first relational.
 
She is absolutely right! She came alongside me not as a superior, not as one gifted (though she is!), but she encircled me as family. She got my back because we are family. She did what she did because she loves me. Family is where we can be real with one another. Who says ministering is reserved for a select few? Who says only those gifted in a certain way are blessed to serve the Lord? Who says there are higher and superior gifts, therefore lower, inferior menial gifts? Who says those with privileges to minister to others have no need to be ministered to? Who says great demonstrations of the gifts of the Lord equates His pleasure?
 
As for me, i have learned the hard and difficult way that the standards of the Lord are not like ours. There is a more devilish lie operating disguised as the approval of the Lord by what looks spiritual on the surface. Arrogance is pride, and pride is arrogance, whether it is spiritual or not. To exalt oneself above another, or to think more highly of oneself than we ought to no matter how well we hide it, or dress it up in spiritual language is still pride.  
 
The good news is: The brilliance of God makes sure that we do not transform in a vacuum. He makes sure that we are to be changed from glory to glory in the veil-less messiness of relationships. i believe that is why the enemy works very hard to enlarge not our hearts, but our heads to usher us into exclusive clubs, separated and isolated from others. i believe the enemy knows how powerful we are, and how explosive we can be when we work out his schemes, to see through his lies, to turn to the Lord, to humble ourselves, to put away our masks, to make real connections one with another. Perhaps in the openness and messiness of a family is where the Spirit of the Lord is; where He is, there our freedom also.          

Friday, October 31, 2014

Inheritance

But as for Me, I have installed My King upon Zion, My holy mountain.
I will surely tell of the decree of the Lord:
He said to Me, 'Thou art My son, today I have begotten Thee.
Ask of Me, and I will surely give the nations as Thine inheritance,
And the very end of the earth as Thy possession.
(Psalm 2:6-8)

i first saw him sitting alone just before the service. i went over to welcome him, and to speak with him. He is someone who is new to the state, having moved here for a change. A quiet man who is painfully shy, he answered all my questions with one-line sentences. 

Later, when the people started streaming forth in response to the spoken word, i saw him come up. Strangely, i was drawn to him. As i made my way to him, someone stood before him to pray with him. So, i turned to pray with someone closest to me. 

"Thank you," he said at the end of a word that God had given him, "Really appreciate this." i gave this man a hug. As i turned around to face the front to see if there was more to do, my eyes fell upon the first man again. When i move towards him, another came and laid his hand on his head. i found myself standing in front of the lady besides him. As i prayed with her, tears started streaming down her cheeks. i took time to stand with her. At the appropriate time, i like to step backwards to allow some privacy between the person and the Holy Spirit. While i was there a step back from the people, i was drawn to him again. A sentence which started circling my mind when i looked and saw him was still there. i waited. At the right moment, when he opened his eyes, i smiled at him, and asked if he would like me to pray with him. He nodded. 

There was very little reaction on his face at that sentence, which made me question if i had got it wrong. Or, that the way i had structured the sentence had thwart the meaning or the intention of the Holy Spirit. So, i closed my eyes to stop myself from reading his face, and prayed. i do not remember what poured out of my heart, or what words i spoke. But i remember the tinge of pink on his nose; i remember the tears that came discreetly down his cheeks. i remember the sweet air that enveloped us. i remember the calm and peaceful expression on his face as he breathed in this sweetness. i stood astounded. i stood wrapped up in the wonder of what was happening. i stood breathing in this sweet air myself. At the right time, i took a step back. Sensing my movement, he opened his eyes, smiled at me, pointed to his chest, and said sheepishly, "Something touched me here."

"That's the Holy Spirit." i said. i felt like giving him a giant hug; i felt like telling him again how much God loves him. But i could not. There was something precious about that moment; something pure and should not be tainted by my own intentions. i myself, at this point was caught up by His presence; was completely floored by the goodness and kindness of the Holy Spirit. And i found myself falling in love with Him again. How i love the Holy Spirit; how i love His brilliance, His gentleness. His love for people. i find myself longing to be just like Him.

What if life is truly about Him; life is really about living with Him, walking with Him. And as we do, we tumble into the wonder of being transformed (again and again); we suddenly find ourselves the privilege to look into His heart and share in His inheritance. And we fall on our faces to worship. He is indeed Lord of all.