For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do. (Hebrews 4:13-14)
When i used the exact words that he had used to speak into my situation, i was surprised to find that he could not receive them. For me, those words immediately untied me; completely freed me and caused me to propelled into a new place. Like a light bulb switched on or an aha moment. Like feeling new again in a flash. My thoughts became clear again; i felt free as if a heavy cloud had been lifted off my head. i was happy again; i saw the funny side of things again. So, when he opened up concerning his situation, i saw the same root causes for i knew that sort of reasoning or that sort of thinking all too well. i was familiar with the emotions that attach themselves to those thoughts. i was accustomed to the same tightness upon my mind, the same angst hovering around. i boomeranged back to him the exact word he gave me. Astonishingly, he refused them.
In his eyes, his circumstance has been going on for years, is bigger, is more complicated, is more painful, the characters in his story nastier. In other words, his hardship or the injustice, the bullying done to him more prominent than mine. In his mind, he deserves to rage against the wrong he suffers, he has every right to embrace the pain inflicted upon him. He has been persecuted more than me, bullied and pushed around for a longer time. In one split of a second, i saw. He has elevated himself above me. He has enshrouded himself in pride, wearing all the injustice inflicted upon him as if it is a grand cloak. Having put on false humility, he has put on the breastplate of self-righteousness. He does not understand that the tying up or the imprisonment or the torment, these binding things originate not from the outer. He does not truly understand that we live in a war and that we have an enemy who hates us with a hatred deep and horrible. The enemy uses these occasions to wield his influences; he uses such moments to introduce his thoughts to have us agree with him, to hook us in and capture us. He does not see that our imprisonment or woundedness or entrapment happens on the inside when we unknowingly (or knowingly) or innocently allow the enemy to entice us, and through our own choosing choose what colours us on the inside, or influence or dictate to us our reaction. He does not see that is why people who have been through atrocious injustice have the power to defeat the circumstances (thus disempowering the enemy) and remain untainted or unaffected or unchanged; people who have been through hellish experiences can continue to be beautiful and kind and unmarred by outer circumstances. They have escaped the trap of the enemy, and overwhelmingly overpowered him. These are those we call conquerors or overcomers.
He does not truly understand what he had given me. He does not truly know the power that he had spoken to give me. He does not understand that the power available to us can only be activated when we embrace it with humility. He has taken that very unfortunate place of being higher than others, the double-edged sword in his hand though powerful, is meant for others like me, but not for him.
How do we love a guy like him? A very wise man - my beloved husband - taught me to embrace people like him. It means i continue to accept him; i keep my love for him evident and available. His reaction to the very word from his own mouth tells me to take a step back, to consider his pain. And wait. Perhaps for this one, the Holy Spirit has a whole different way to bring freedom. Perhaps for this one, He seeks another avenue to do a larger and more lasting work. Perhaps to battle arrogance, we put on humility. So, i approach him with the posture of Lord, what shall i do? i come near with kindness, gentleness. And wisdom. i am convinced what God has done for me, He can do for my brother.